The Final Post

Karangahape Rd, Auckland 2019 (Photo Credit: Christian Espinoza)

Thank you.

For the past four and a half months, you’ve read my ramblings as I etched my thoughts on here, one post at a time.

Looking back at them I see this has been a practice in sharing and reflecting, which developed into a daily ritual. Posting the blog created structure amongst the empty space I was in. It was a voice I didn’t know I had.

Now I feel it is time to say goodbye. I am grateful for anyone who read my blog, took away from it, and I can say I enjoyed every minute of it.

Go well and kill it in the game 🙂

Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.”

– Albert Einstein

We are Infinitely Small

Night over Doha, Qatar 2018 (photo credit: Christian Espinoza)

Discover the world.

Take chances, take risks.

Follow your instinct, trust yourself.

Create the environment for you to flourish.

Invite others to collaborate with you.

Laugh more and spend more time with friends.

Make time just for yourself.

All things you can find on a Hallmark greeting card, but maybe it’s all true. Try it and find out for yourself, and see if you’re life becomes more rewarding.

Higher Self

Photo from Susan Jeffer’s book, “feel the fear and do it anyway” (photo taken by Christian Espinoza)

This is my guide.

When I connect all the squares, I feel truly happy. I feel whole.

When I tip the balance one way, I loose myself and it’s hard to reconnect.

Try it for yourself, and be real.

It’s not easy to reach, but it’s worth all the stress and anguish in the end.


Arrowtown, New Zealand 2015 (Photo Credit: Christian Espinoza)

Seeking solitude, finding peace in a restful place. Letting go, or longing for a distant memory.

We are all looking for something out there, but often we forget that there’s nothing to find out there at all.

The remnants of the past come back as glimpses in the present. They hurt at times, but they also make us see ourselves better.

We live the stories we tell for ourselves, we see our reflection in others. We close our eyes when we don’t want to see what is in front of us.

Accepting yourself for better or worse is better than believing what is not real.

Start today, speak your truth.

Your Home

Auckland during the Rugby World Cup 2011 (photo credit: Christian Espinoza)

We grow up at home, we learn our place there and we nurture what would become in later years our oldest habits. The sense of taste and smell from our home, unlike any other. It is the place we learned and failed before anywhere else, but it’s more than a place or a location.

When I left home life became a new adventure for me. I was carving out my own path, seeking to find myself in the world. I stumbled and fell and I developed a thicker skin for it. I was molding, shaping, and tuning myself. It was a new frontier I was traversing, yet I felt totally fearless. It was an age of experience for me, and for nearly 15 years I worked like my life depended on it. I threw myself into anything I could to get work and experience, and that usually meant days and nights every day and every weekend. I was burned out but I felt I had reached the apex of my knowledge and skills, and I could rest easier for it. But as I have come to realize, this wasn’t home for me.

Home is timeless. Home is our self. I think we go back there because it grounds us. This is not the place we grew up, or a physical location or people rather, home is the shelter for us to create our truest selves. To pursue our purest work.

Take that look of worry
I’m an ordinary man
They don’t tell me nothing
So I find out what I can
There’s a fire that’s been burning
Right outside my door
I can’t see but I feel it
And it helps to keep me warm

– Phil Collins, “Take Me Home”

The Road Ahead

Silverdale, New Zealand 2012 (photo credit: Christian Espinoza)

Never look back on the road ahead.

The freedom of not knowing, not planning. Embarking into the unknown.

Cross the paths and lives of other men and women as you discover yourself on the road ahead.

Good days, bad days, it’s all one and the same.

As the sun dies, you make for shelter. The morning shall bring a new frontier.

Some nights are longer, colder, but solitude conditions you for the road ahead.

Take a trip, get away from yourself and embrace the world.

We sail through endless skies
Stars shine like eyes
The black night sighs
The moon in silver trees
Falls down in tears
Light of the night”

– Lyrics from Planet Caravan, by Black Sabbath, 1970